Mahara

Treat 'Em, Don't Trick 'Em

How often do we wear metaphorical masks and pretend to be something we're not to impress someone we like? Miss Daisy tackles dating through the masks and costumes of Halloween, reminding us to always be ourselves.

man and woman lying on grass


Maybe it all started back in the days of MySpace and AOL instant messenger. We’re a generation of people who used names such as “superstarbri14” and “tpLuVeRxoxo” to communicate with other living individuals. Yes the first one was mine and yes the “TP” in the second one refers to NBA athlete Tony Parker. Point is, when you first start talking to someone, it’s really easy to want to portray the most attractive and likable version of yourself. The problem is that it can often lead to losing who you really are.
It’s that time of the year again. Radically changing temperatures, Instagrammed pictures of pumpkins, and costumed walks of shame around West Campus. With Halloween festivities in full bloom, it makes me reflect upon the very essence of dressing up and using disguises… this is the part where I act [candy] corny and connect wearing masks to the world of dating.

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“ You should never feel the need to cover everything up about yourself. Getting to know someone should be a gradual process, but one that is completely genuine every step of the way.

In order to have a good foundation with someone, you should always use honest concrete. While the phrase “honest concrete” might sound like a weird environmentalist product, the concept is simple and important. Don’t disguise yourself. Your true colors are going to come out sooner or later and if they don’t, well how sad is that to have to be someone else forever?

If you need a stronger metaphor, and a reference to the ‘90s, think back to the Goosebumps story where the kid puts on that creepy mask and then it gets stuck on his head and messes him UP. That’s pretty much all I can remember about it but the point is that you can’t go through life with masks on your face or they’ll get stuck on you and you’ll look scary and you won’t be able to breathe…and also that hiding who you are is self-destructive and dishonest towards those around you.

This doesn’t mean you should put all of yourself out there right away. I’m definitely not saying to get all sloppy and au naturale the moment you meet a potential love interest, but you should never feel the need to cover everything up about yourself. Getting to know someone should be a gradual process, but one that is completely genuine every step of the way.

It’s also important to consider the masks that people around you might be wearing. A very cheap therapist once told me to decide how close you should let people get like you would a stray dog approaching your house. Dog looks cray? Call animal protection. Seems kinda friendly? Let it sniff around. Now I’m not saying you should let guys hitting on you at bars sniff you out, but it’s smart to consider different levels of openness towards the new people of interest in your life.

So this Halloween, as we party with girls dressed as loofahs and boys dressed as superheroes, remember that even while wearing a costume you should never pretend to be a different person. If someone doesn’t accept who you are, take a shot of tequila, eat a candy apple, and move on to the next one.

  • Doris Mills
  • Request Membership, Publicly visible
  • 2 November 2021
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